3 more days

We had a spat today, just momentarily. It was hard on you to see everyone in your family with their kids, girl friends, fiance's, wives. You were there alone. You want to have a wife and children too. But you are stuck in limbo with me instead.

I want you to be able to have a girlfriend you can show your family. I want to be her. Plan our family together. I know you want that too... but we can't. I told you I don't want to be in the way of you finding real happiness with someone. I want you to have everything you deserve. I know what I am. I know I'm pretend. I know you can't have real happiness with me.

You told me that I was your happiness. You said I am real. I give you real happiness, real confidence, real love, and you would have turmoil inside without me.

Only 3 more days until I see you.  Should I even go?  I want to so much, but I just feel weird. There is no other word for it. You kept trying to reassure me over and over, but I know this situation is hard on you.  Its okay. I understand. You don't have to try to cheer me up. You said there is no one else in your life, and you don't want anyone else, but I can't help but think you might be happier ... one day ... without me.