The Beginning

I'm starting this blog today, because I need a place where I can express myself. I need support, a place where I can write my feelings down, anonymously, and get feedback, support, without ridicule from objective viewers, and maybe find other people who can relate.

Maybe you started your blog for some of the same reasons?  Have you ever felt like you have to hold it all inside? That you can't let the world know whats going on in your head or in your heart? Have you ever felt like your heart is so full, that you just have to get it out or you'll burst?  I'm done holding it all inside. I'm done with trying not to feel. Its not healthy for me. I've done it for 30 years, and its crushing.

I should start from the beginning, but so much has happened that it is impossible to write it all down. How could I even remember it all?  My blogs that I write from here on reflect the different stages of the turmoil that are going on inside me. Reflections of the secret things I hold inside. Sometimes in poems and songs, sometimes in ramblings, silliness, and rants. I have a very happy, crazy, fun, smiling, silly side; however, I have to admit that I have problems with anxiety and depression that over shadow who I know I can be and want to be.

Some of the things I post will be from the past until I can get them all down.

I will be mysterious about the details, but I think if you read between the lines... when enough has been posted... you'll see a glimpse of the picture. I hope you'll understand.

You'll see soon that there is more to this story as of recent. Things that are troubling me and things that make me feel hope. Things that I'm not even sure I want to write down, but I feel like I have to. Like I said, I can't hold it all inside anymore. Good or bad... I'm throwing myself out there for the world to see.