holding back

I feel like I live in a dream.  I don't know whats real.

I never get to be with you.  I keep waiting to wake up... to wake up and find it was only a dream, and mourn that this beautiful dream is over. I'm holding back.  Not sure if I can give my heart completely anymore to something that's always just out of reach.  Do I leave everything real behind to chase a dream?  A dream that may not be real?  What if its not what we thought.  What if I'm not who you think I am.  What if I don't measure up.  What if you don't.  If I leave here, there is no going back.  Stay or go.  The consequences cannot be undone.  Decisions made will send waves through every corner of both of our lives.  How do I know what to do in a dream?  How do I make a dream into reality?  One fact holds us apart.  That is the only reality I am sure of. You feel real to me, and I feel real to you, but often dreams feel real until you wake up.  I'm not sure if I want to wake up.  What will I have left to hold on to if my dream isn't real?