gone

My heart is broken

No words to explain the pain in my chest.

No comfort anywhere, in anything.

I understand why, but it doesn't stop it from hurting. It hurts so bad.

Tears pouring from eyes, won't stop. Don't want them to stop.

And yet I know he still loves me, but he left.

He said, "I love you more completely than I've ever loved anyone."

And then he said goodbye.

Hear me please, Jehovah God. Please see that this was so hard,
and grant forgiveness one day because we'd do this for you, God.

Only our love for You could make me accept this pain.

I'm sorry for what I've done.  I'm sorry that I still want it.

Forgive me for hurting the person I love.

Please heal him. Give him a good life.

Give him blessings for his strength and courage to do whats right.

Please don't be angry at me for having a broken heart.

It hurts so much. More than I can bear.

Anxiety overwhelming me.

Sobbing ... no words.

Just sobbing and hurt and broken ... and guilt.

What have I done?

Why did I do this to him and You?

I'm so so sorry.

The blur of tears as I try to type out my feelings.

Trying to ease the pain... but the tears keep falling, faster and harder

heartache choking me in my chest and throat

I hadn't allowed myself to feel, to cry.
I've held it in, but I can't anymore.

Just want to sob myself to sleep and never wake up.

I don't deserve to wake up.

I don't want to wake up and remember he is gone again.